You Already Know..

Green Tea Ice Cream Mochi

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 21:42:36 -0400

I have a fierce and abiding love for green tea ice cream. Actually I have a weakness for matcha-flavored anything. More often than I would like to, I cave in at Starbucks and get that goddamn green tea frappucino. I love the stuff.

Recently after a much needed Momofuku Ramen I stopped by Sunrise Mart and I left a happy girl— with culinary grade matcha powder and Mochiko sweet rice flour in hand. Yes, I was going to attempt to make green tea ice cream from scratch and then make little ice cream mochi from scratch as well.

So, there are quite a few steps to this process, but there are shortcuts. For instance, you can easily skip the first part of ice cream making directions and use store bought ice cream to fill the mochi. I like Häagen-Dazs green tea ice cream a lot.

Recipes after the jump.

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Don't You.. Forget About Me

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 23:49:13 -0400

I believe anybody who has come into my life and made some sort of impact on my life, will remain in my life. As corny as it sounds, they’ll always have a place in my heart. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ll never let go. I’ll never forget them. Nine out of ten times, I won’t be the one that walks away from a relationship like that because I truly believe the person should be in my life regardless how little I’ll be in contact with them.

Sometimes I feel like I am setting myself up for failure when I do that, like I’ll be taken advantage of. Maybe I just give people the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t really bother me too much. I care about a person a lot when they’ve made an impact in my life. I have too much respect for a person to ever let go. If you want to let me go, I’ll fight you back into my life until you give me no choice but to stop. I’ll never let go. I’ll take you back into my life whether it’s us talking once a year, then knowing there’s a barrier between us to not talk or see each other at all.

I don’t expect the same thing back from everyone. That’s just how I think about things.

“As you walk on by, will you call my name? When you walk away…”

What Happened?

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 00:41:47 -0400

I thought we were close. I thought our friendship was the kind that never fizzled. I thought we could talk about anything, any time. We even took a trip together and had a blast. What happened? Is it me or is it you? Or is it us? We barely speak anymore and I haven’t seen you in months. I miss you. Don’t let it be true that our friendship only lasts because we’re forced to be around each other because then our friendship would be a lie. And I would be the one fooled. So tell me, what happened?

"Ann, are you going back to DP as a supervisor this year. You should definately apply for the..."

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 16:15:00 -0400

“Ann, are you going back to DP as a supervisor this year. You should definately apply for the position. Other than _____ I can’t think of anyone who would really qualify.”

- My old supervisor sent me this over facebook. I was so flattered. It’s too bad I wasn’t offered the position this season nor am I “qualified.”

"I’m not a party animal. I’m just enjoying my life and making good memories."

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 03:01:21 -0400

““I’m not a party animal. I’m just enjoying my life and making good memories.””

- Touché Bestie, touché.

This song is so catchy; The video, not so much haha. I saw her...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 20:53:14 -0400

This song is so catchy; The video, not so much haha. I saw her at the World Live Cafe with Alexz Johnson.

The Immaturity That Surrounds Me

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 00:40:17 -0400

Don’t get me wrong, I love people who have immature humor because even I am like that haha. But it’s the people who are immature about something so stupid. Let me explain..

Last year when I started my job, it was the worst possible time to start because I was in the mist of all the drama that was continued from the year before. Slowly, people started to get fired or just quit and I didn’t know why. And slowly, I started to figure out why.

It all started when there was new management in our department. Apparently, this person was not “qualified” enough. But in reality, this person was extremely professional and did not put up with any crap. People couldn’t take the changes that happened and started to react in an immature way.

Now after all these people quit or was fired blow up Facebook with bitterness. They’ll post stories about workers of the park, using their name and go into detail about how they broke the rules and how they don’t deserve to be in this position of the job. Then, the others will comment on the post, egging the post even more. What pisses me off is, why do people care so much? These people talk about how much they hated it there and how much better their life is now not working there anymore. Yet they still devote their life putting down the company all over Facebook. It’s a summer time job people; get over yourselves. You’re not getting anywhere with Facebook but degrading yourselves and showing how immature you are.

Here’s an example of something that would happen. This guy would write:

“Oh, I can name 3 officers who won’t be coming back to the park this year! Now they are left with horrible ones and noobs. They fired the best officers out there!”

and people would comment with something like:

“Oh and EMTS too!! Good luck to guests and employees who get hurt there”

First of all, just because some of you no longer work there due to circumstances, doesn’t just make everyone else who works there now bad at the job. It doesn’t make sense. You are ignorant. Second off all, where is it going to get you saying that? Not your job back.

"Hey, I just wanted to say your absolutely ADORABLE , and your so inspiring. Keep doing what you do,..."

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 00:01:26 -0400

““Hey, I just wanted to say your absolutely ADORABLE , and your so inspiring. Keep doing what you do, with all your heart. Your gonna go far. I KNOW you will. I hope to see you around””

- One of the uncertified officers at dorney messaged me this on facebook. I am totally flattered. Although I’m not sure if he was trying to flirt with me or if he actually meant it.

You used to be so sweet to me Now you’ve left me feeling so incomplete I don’t know what...

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 14:28:00 -0500

You used to be so sweet to me
Now you’ve left me feeling so incomplete
I don’t know what you’ve done to me
I’ve been lonely

So just last year you started acting weird
And I knew the things you said were insincere
But I played the part of the fool
I played that role for you

You used to be easy to read
Now it’s hard for me to know what you mean
I don’t know what you want from me
Say you’re lonely
But you don’t own me

But then you were so moody for about a year
And I thought it was just cuz’ you were insecure
So I gave you a little room
Thought it’d be good for you

Photo

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 21:51:38 -0500

Trichotillomania II

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 23:31:51 -0500

In an earlier post, I wrote about how I had trichotillomania aka “compulsive hair pulling.” Lately, it has been it’s all time high. It stemmed from working at the job I hated to much. It was actually a huge factor in why I quit. Sitting there for 10 hours, doing absolutely nothing is mentally draining and when I become stressed I end up pulling out my hairs. Another factor was how I had to had my hair tied up. I don’t like to tie up my hair; I was never too fond of it.

On the top of my head towards the back I had hairs growing in, so when I tie up my hair, it tangles a bit or sticks up causing me to stress out and want to pull it out. If I just ignore it, it’ll drive me crazy and I won’t be able to do anything else. I HAD to pull it out. Once I am on a roll with that, I never stop. It becomes a habit.

It drives me crazy that people don’t understand what I am going through. People act like I can stop. I mentally CAN’T. People act like I want to pull out my hairs and have bald spots on my head. Do you think I want to walk around like that? It’s embarrassing. I just can’t help it.

The Past

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 20:42:20 -0500

I miss the past & the way we use to be. I was so happy back then. I loved the fact that I always had someone to talk to and someone to hang out with; someone who was always there for me. This past year, I started to feel lonely. I never knew who I could go to talk about my problems or someone I could call randomly just to hang out. I got into a weird funk where I thought that was how it was suppose to be. I learned to be on my own and to occupy it (even though it probably wasn’t productive). But it was depressing. I started to isolate myself and lose contact with friends.

Then when I started work that’s all I did because I had no life outside of work. I would just go home to eat and relax. Then, hang out here and there. Somehow I was okay with it. I was a workaholic. But, I realized I am in denial of what is really going on. I am petrified of being alone. There was always work and it occupied my time. There was always people around I could talk to. I mean, working had it great moments, but I never realized why I was willing to work that much. I just can’t be alone.

I saw you a couple weeks ago after about a year. It was only for a couple hours, but it made me so happy. I miss you in my life. I know you still are, but it sometimes feels like you aren’t. Or maybe it’s that fact I’m more in your life than you are in mine. I guess I’m okay with that though because I am happy with you being somewhat in my life than not at all..

Doing Nothing

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:49:14 -0500

I sit here here 10 hours a day “checking IDs.” After about the 1st hour of saying, “good morning” while smacking myself to keep myself awake, it starts to get a bit old. It’s too early for my brain to start studying, reading, or any sort of school work so, I just end up listening to music. I’m not even sure I’m aloud to. I have this nifty trick where I put my headphones through the gap between my buttons of my shirt, then wrap the headphone behind my neck, then slyly (that’s a word, right?) put the ear bud in my ear. I look like a secret agent.

Since that’s taken care of, the next couple hours consist of occasionally getting up to open doors for visitors or those who forget their IDs or just getting up to stretch. Sometimes I even get to use the phone on my desk to call the worker’s supervisor. Riveting. Occasionally, I’ll skip a song or two on my iPod, watch people run into each other going into and out the bathroom, and watch people use the ATMs while other people passing by say, “Are you going to share some of that money?”
Before I know it (ha), it’s 11am. Time for lunch! I have a whole 7 minutes to buy my food and bring it back to my desk. Now I have to deal with these people leaving for lunch telling me that my food smells good or ask what I am eating. Please leave me alone, I just want to eat. Then, I deal with people who pick up lunch and taunt me with awesomeness of Chipotle and whatnots. I mean, I want some…

Ah finally, only 6 hours left of my shift. Now that I have energy in my body, time to start some work. I swear, every time I’m extremely into my work, I get interrupted with, “What are you studying?” “You in college?” “Where do you go?” “I’m glad you’re being productive as opposed to the people before you.” “you’re always doing work, I bet you’re doing so well.” “I don’t miss that at all.” I eventually get too distracted then stop. Then, I deal with people saying, “not studying today?” I swear I can never win. Although, there are some cool folks here. They know my name and get to know me. It’s nice sometimes having those small conversations. It makes it less depressing. A couple of people actually went to my high school and that’s nice. But, I really get to know the people who take constant smoke breaks or bathroom breaks. It’s kind of entertaining and that’s the sad part.

Oh hey, it’s 4PM. My supervisor finally leaves. I still got 2 hours left; the longest 2 hours of my life. This is my 2 hours of, “goodnight,” “have a good night,” and “you too,” while playing games on my iPad. It feels like I do this for hours. Time just slowly passes by… The last half hour is torture and completely dead as I “clean” which takes me only a minute or two. Right when 5:50 hits, I immediately get up, hand in my keys, and book it. I haven’t gotten in trouble yet for always leaving before my shift ends.

I got places to go & things to do, man. It’s a tough life.

Bitter

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:13:35 -0500

In the summer I was talking to this really nice guy. The only thing I found weird was that he was a year younger than me. It really didn’t bother me though. It was short lived, but it was nice. He was a really funny, sweet, and nice. Those are the qualities I look for. Then randomly, he fell off the face of the earth, not telling me why. Was I bitter then? Not really. But I was kind of just hung up on the fact of why. So, I continued looking like a fool texting him, but barely getting a reply, so I eventually gave up. What also bothered me was the fact that he would act like nothing was wrong at work when we would pass each other. So I just left it at that. It was short lived and never went far enough to catch feelings. Today I found out why he stopped talking. It was because he was already talking to someone while he was talking to me. And obviously it was her that she picked. Bitter? Maybe a little.

Getting Out There

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 21:56:39 -0500

People always ask me, “Why do you never date?” Answer is that I would date if there was someone to date. I feel as though I do put myself out there and not have a wall built up to not date, but there just no such luck. I question if I am in denial sometimes. I’m not sure if I am picky, or if I’m just not appealing enough to others, haha. It’s just that I get bored and annoyed too easily. So what do I do? You tell me because I’m still trying to figure it out.

Keeping Up

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 19:10:52 -0500

Wow, I have no blogged in a while. I haven’t been inspired to blog anything lately, but I guess I have to eventually. My life is pretty uneventful, but somehow I enjoy it. It seems to be pretty simple. I just wish it was a bit more exciting.

Today I realized something. I was lying on my bed scrolling through texts and realized that I was still in touch with people I use to work with at Dorney. As much as I hated working there sometimes, my co-workers were who kept me sane and insane. But in the end, I made some really good friends and made me not regret my experience. Now I just question.. Do I come back next season?

To Call or Not to Call

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 00:16:00 -0400

Some guy walks in..

“Hey! My mom got hit by a moving vehicle. Can you help?”

“Is she okay? Where is she?”

“She’s fine. We just need someone to check her out.”

“Was there any employees with you at the time? They were suppose to call 800 for us to be dispatched. We can’t just run out like this. It has to be called in for us to go out, just like a regular ambulance company”

The guy runs away.

It’s an extremely hot day out and First Aid is short staffed with only 2 EMTs and 1 EMT supervisor, who was already on a call. Then suddenly a tone goes off..

“Communications to Station ___, ______, report to the main parking lot for 10-56 Gamma (which means injured guest), struck by vehicle.”

What runs into your mind when you hear that? Doesn’t that make you wanna run out? This might be a serious call. My supervisor runs in and tells me to come along; we grab an AED, and take the cart to scene. While in route, I start planning out what I was going to do. I start to ask myself. Where was this person hit? Any blood? Am I going to need to collar him/her? Are we going to need to call an ambulance? Man is this paperwork going to suck..

We arrive on scene. I jump off and go right to the patient, who seems to be in good amount of pain. She had water bottles and Capri Suns on her shoulder to supposedly soothe the pain. I see no blood, and there was no vehicle in sight that would give me a visual.

“Hey, how are you doing mam? What happened?”

“I was just standing right here and all a sudden this car backed right into me.”

Now, you would think that a car backing into you would affect a large amount of space on the body. This lady had only little swelling on her upper left shoulder.

“What kind of car was it?”

“I don’t know, it just backed into me and I lost my balance. And he just drove away”

“Can you move your arm, mam? I’m just going to feel around to see if I feel anything wrong. Let me know if you feel any pain”

My partner started palpating her shoulder. There was nothing wrong. No, sweat this will be an easy one, I thought. We’ll give her some ice and we’re good to go. We asked her to rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and she told us it was an 8. We took her vitals as well and it all seemed to be normal as well.

“Mam, here is some ice for your shoulder. We don’t see anything wrong with your shoulder/back, just a little swelling, which is common. You can take some ibuprofen and relieve the pain. The ice will help with the swelling and pain, too. There’s not much else we can do for you. You can come back to First Aid to rest a bit if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay I am fine. I am just worried because I need to drive home later and I live two hours away and no one else can drive. I don’t think I will be able to.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Taking some ibuprofen will help though. We can’t give out any medications, but you can buy some at the store.”

The patient started crying and stated that the pain had gotten worse.

“Did you want to go to the hospital? We can get an ambulance here for you.”

“No, I’m okay. I don’t need no ambulance”

“Okay, that’s fine, mam. Just making sure. You always have that option”

My partner had a call to another area and left. He told me to finish up and then to get a transport refusal signed as well as a treatment refusal.

I began the paperwork. I had to get all her demographics down, patient statement, transport refusal since she didn’t want to go to the hospital, then a transport refusal since she didn’t want to go back to first aid. Easy enough.

I was just about to leave and clear my call, then suddenly the lady gets up and starts crying about how the pain has gotten worse. I told her that there wasn’t much I could do. I told her to take ibuprofen as soon as she can, so the pain will relieve sooner. I also told her to keep it iced, 20 minutes on then 20 minutes off, then repeat.

Then, she kept repeatedly telling me how much pain she was in. I told her I was sorry and if anything I could drive her up to First Aid for her to rest up a bit. She agreed, and I drove her up.

We get back and she seemed to be calmed down. I take her to the treatment beds and tell her she can rest as long as she wants. I gave her some water and she rested her eyes for a bit.

My partner walks in from his call and asks me if she is okay since she originally didn’t want to go back to First Aid. I explained to him what happened and he seemed fine with it. Then, another tone goes off. What do you know, the ride “Stinger” is stuck again! My partner leaves for the call and leaves me alone with this lady. I was okay with it though, she was calm and just resting.

Not longer after he left, this lady begins to cry again. Telling me that the pain had gotten worse. Her family around her were encouraging her to go to the hospital. She asked what would happen to the car and I told her to not worry and that her car would be fine and it’ll be taken care of. I told her to worry about her health, then anything else right now. We started to go back and forth about what hospitals the ambulance would take her to. I explained to her that you can be transported to any hospital you’d like, but the further it is, the more expensive the bill will be.

She hesitated for a second.

So I asked, “Do you want an ambulance? I’ll call for you right now and they’ll come pick you up right here.”

She replied, “Yeah.. I guess.”

I told her I would be right back and I called my supervisor over the radio while he was on a call to give me a quick ring because when we call for an ambulance, we have to get permission from a supervisor first.

In the mean time, I ask the lady about 4 or 5 more times to make sure she absolutely sure she wanted an ambulance. She said yes every time I asked.

My supervisor finally calls me and I explained the story and he told me to continue on and call for an ambulance. I once again asked the lady if she wanted an ambulance and she said yes, so I called.

The ambulance took about 5/10 minutes to arrive. Literally once we were notified that the ambulance had arrived, the lady asks, “Can you cancel the ambulance? I can’t afford it. I just got a new job.”

Are you serious? You can’t “cancel” an ambulance when it has already been called! Plus, it is already here.

“The ambulance is already here, mam. We’ll see what we can do.”

My one coworker walked out and went to talk to the ambulance. And I went to finish up some paperwork for the ambulance. Suddenly, I see the lady walk out the door.

“Where are you going mam?”

“I told you I don’t want an ambulance!”

“You told me you did, mam. If you don’t want one anymore, you have to tell them that. I can’t do that for you. So please just stay right here.”

The paramedics came over and started talking to her. They have to do their initial assessment regardless if they want treatment or not. Everything was fine. She signed a treatment/transport refusal with the medics. Then, they told her she was still going to be billed because they were called and came to her.

She stood up, pointed at me and screamed, “I told you I didn’t want a ambulance! I told you I don’t have money! But you still called.”

“Mam, I asked you a couple times if you wanted an ambulance and you said yes. By law, I must call an ambulance”

She gets closer to me and I swear she was going to swing. My two coworkers stood in front of me to guard and she screams, “I told you I don’t want no ambulance! And you still called”

I replied with the same answer. The medics and my coworkers tried to knock some sense into her, but she was too upset to listen. They told her that she can call the ambulance company tomorrow and explain her story and she might not have to pay anything. Other than that, there wasn’t much we could do about it. Everything was already done and signed.

“I have no money! I can’t afford this! I told her that I have a new job! I told her I don’t want no ambulance! I’m calling my lawyer tomorrow! I told her I didn’t want an ambulance and she still called!”

The medic of the ambulance answered, “You are more than welcome to.”

He then shooed us off, told us he had everything he needed as well as us.

My partner told me that I better start on my paperwork and to do it as thorough as possible. I probably spent the next two hours just doing this necessary paperwork for this lady because everything seriously could have been avoided. I beat myself up for it, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t say, “No, you don’t need an ambulance.” Or “No, you don’t need to go back to First Aid because it won’t help much.” I just did my job, but why does it feel so crappy?

IIAS

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 23:16:37 -0400

As much as I say I don’t care, it’s just a lie. Truth is, I care about everything and too much. I’m overly emotional and make horrible decisions when I’m in that state. I’m trying this thing where I don’t make decisions so quickly and it’s not really working for me. It’s a dilemma for me because I’m stuck between taking too long to make a decision or deciding too quickly. I’m just trying to figure out if I’m just impatient or if I just make horrible decisions. Maybe I take things too seriously. I’m not too sure; just thinking about it makes my brain hurt.

I guess it’s just the fact that I second guess myself. I just need to think things more through and be confident in my choices. I notice I tend to rely on a lot of people’s opinions to make my choices. I need to learn to figure out more things on my own.

So my goal?

Be more confident in myself.

I love how I just realized this now as I was writing this blog.

I Need a Break

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:25:16 -0400

I never thought my body was capable of functioning this long. Today I realized that I worked every single day so far that the park has been open, other than the two days I personally called off for. When I started working at the beginning of the season, I was stoked to get hours. I am money and experience in my career, what else could you ask for? After a couple of weeks, things began to take a change, a drastic change. It wasn’t the same anymore. Suddenly, I dreaded coming to work because I no longer had fun anymore. These past couple weeks I’ve had no time to relax. I was either working or looking for a new car. I haven’t even had barely any sleep either. It doesn’t matter how late I have to be into work, being one car down makes me wake up early to drive my mom to work, then not having time to go back to sleep for a little. The only good thing I can think of lately is the excersize I’ve been getting lately from walking around so much, but it gets counteracted by my horrible eating habits due to lack of time and working so much. And to top things off, it ridiculous how many people I encounter who need “medical attention.” People need to understand, I am not a transport service, a doctor, or surgeon. If you are going to call me to come get you, you better believe I’ll be treating you. Don’t waste my time by changing your time. When I ask you if you can rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst feeling you ever felt in your life, and you say 10 even though you are breathing, moving, and talking effortlessly, then expect me to mentally kick you in the face.

I’m tired. I just need a break..

First Impressions

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 23:49:35 -0400

The one thing I’ve learned from working is to not trust you’re first impressions. Since I’ve started working in April, I had certain impressions of people, good and bad, and now my impressions of them has changed completely. This one girl I work with came off extremely intimidating and when I first started working with her, I tried avoiding her as much as a could. Her presence made me self-conscious and I felt like everything I was doing was being watched and judged. After a couple shifts I became pretty tight with her and it turns out she’s one of the most helpful people I’ve encountered while working here and basically the only person I trust now. My other coworker came off really arrogant and I swear he thought he was on top of everyone. I grew to respect him. He knows his stuff and he has helped me a lot these past couple months. I came to realize he’s more stern than anything. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

When I started working, it was great. Every one was friendly, funny, helpful, and just great to be around. I met quite a few a great people that helped my ems career and not to mention my music passion. And now those people no longer work there. They slowly one by one just disappeared and now I end up dreading to go to work. Nothing is keeping me sane and I’m no longer having any fun. These past couple days have been taking a toll on me. It’s been taking a toll on my body physically and my brain mentally. Day by day it’s just breaking me down. I realized how much my coworkers make a difference on how much I enjoy being there.

I feel like I’ve been working too much and not having anytime to let my body recuperate. The only thing that kept me going was my coworkers, which now are all basically gone. I know realized the ones that are left are just plain shady. They come off so friendly and chill, then the next minute they are talking behind someone’s back and spilling all the dirt on them that they know. I realize people need to be informed when things happen, but some things need to be kept to yourself. But really, don’t be telling everyone every single detail because really, how does that make you look?

I’m the kind of person that takes notes of the usual. When something is off, I take notice. I like to watch how “fake” people act around other coworkers, then later make a full 180 and talk about how horrible they are. And it seems like its almost every worker I’m encountered with now. It’s just not healthy. How hard is it really to just do this job and have fun doing it. It’s really not because look at the past years. Stop the bullshit of talking behind people’s back. It’s not that had to follow the rules. Yeah, some may seem stupid, but they’re there for a reason. If you seriously have a problem with it, you can quit with no problems. Or say something because probably another person is feeling the same way. I don’t get it though; you have no issue with complaining and talking behind someone’s back, but you have such a hard time in speaking up when something doesn’t feel right or it’s something you seriously don’t agree with. Where is it going to get you by just complaining to your other coworkers? I just can’t stand how immature people act in these situations.