I absolutely hate planning things. It never turns out right. I’m always one to plan something last minute or just the day before. I hate when things don’t turn out the way I want it to when I put so much work into it. Then, I get excited about it. Then, it just doesn’t reach my expectations or it just doesn’t happen. Well that’s not really the point I’m trying to get here. That’s just what always pops into my head when I think of expectations. Anyways..
It’s like trying a new recipe for a cupcake. You buy all the ingredients, plan it out, then put your time and sweat into it. Then, you taste it and it sucks! I’ve made plenty of foods that just didn’t meet my expectations. I remember when I made a batch of chocolate chipless cookies, horrible! I was so disappointed in myself. Every time I cook for someone, I always get a tad bit nervous. Every single time I cook for someone, I cook like I am cooking for a judge in a competition. I want the person the feel the passion and love I put into the dish. I want the person to feel the time and effort as well, but I don’t want to be lied to when I ask how it tasted. Sure, I’ll take it hard and may be a tad upset in myself, but I know next time I ever make it, it’ll be better than ever. Cooking has always been a big part of life, so I guess it’s understandable that I feel this way.
There’s something I can’t really get my hands on though and it’s my expectations of people. I show tend this “I don’t care” attitude to a lot of things people do, when really I’m kind of upset. For example, every year a good friend of mine and I would have some unique way of saying happy birthday to each other. Our birthdays were only a couple days apart! This year, I didn’t expect it to be any different. Now, I don’t care if it wasn’t unique, but a simple, “Hey, happy birthday” would have been nice. I’m not sure why I kind of got upset over it though. I guess what bothered me was the fact that I was actually waiting for my friends birthday. Every time I would look at the calender of this month I would go, “Oh hey, it’s going to be ______ birthday soon!” And I guess what also bothers me is that fact that my friend has still not wished me a happy birthday or ask how it was. I know this is an extremely stupid thing to be upset about, but I can’t help it. It just does.